Top 5 Brands of the 2000s

In honor of the Gamestop stock phenomenon, we can't forget how Gamestop was an OG of so many our childhoods. Need to buy Madden 08 or NFL Street? Gamestop's got you. How about Call of Duty MW2 or Assassin's Creed? You already knew who to call. Gamestop was a centerpiece of so many grade school awkward dates and swag bro mischief. Gamestop reminded us of the legendary 2000s brands. The ones you terrorized at shopping malls and plazas as a reckless teen. So without further ado, here's our power rankings of the top 5 2000s brands.

 

5. Wii

Never forget that euphoric feeling you had when you got a Wii for Christmas. It was like a ticket to another universe. Fitness and fun, all in one? That sounds too good to be true! Well, in fact, turns out it was way too good to be true. Sure, Wii Tennis and Wii Bowling were exhilarating for a few months or even a few years. But the variety and quality of their games simply was not there to justify physical activity being involved. We needed more than just a few simple sports games. Action and violence games just did not mesh with Wii's system whatsoever. That's why Xbox and Playstation have had such staying power. There's no shortage of racing games, adventure games, shooting games or whatever your preference is on Xbox. Just like the much hyped Area 51 invasion, the Wii hype was short lived. That doesn't mean they were unsuccessful- it just means they didn't recognize Americans' favorite leisure pastime: doing nothing. Why stay physically active when gaming, when you can kick back on the recliner with junk food and not move for 8 hours playing Madden? Seems like Wii's decline can be summed up like this: not moving > moving. It was fun while it lasted.

 

4. Borders

Remember when bookstores were a thing?

 

bookstore

 

3. Heely's

Okay, now here's where the real savages made their names. Nothing can top Heely's swagger. There's obviously a great reason that Heely's were a fad and not a household staple, but that doesn't take away how high octane they are. Heely's were the first step in becoming a true energy drink chugging, skateboarding "Kyle." It requires the same mindset and a shared "very particular set of skills" as Liam Neeson says. Really all it boils down to is: willingness to lay your body on the line and risk being seen as a total outcast. But we will never, ever hate on Heely riders. It's not a product, it's truly a lifestyle.

 

2. Aeropostale

Okay, here's where the real douchebags were conceived. A young Chad once said "Yo brah, let's hit the mall and mac on some babes." A young Brad replies "One sec brah, I just gotta change into my Aeropostale, grab some hair gel and spray on some Axe cologne." Whether you've heard that verbatum or not, you've undoubtedly heard a near carbon copy of it. Don't worry American Eagle or Hollister, we promise we're not forgetting you. There was never day as a kid you didn't see grade school hardos wearing tight Aeropostale tees with flip flops, drawstring bags and Nike elite socks. And texting on their totally sick Envy Touch or Blackberry. And taking their 6th grade girlfriends on dates to Dairy Queen. Just like Heely's, that was also a lifestyle but an unequivocally bad one. You didn't choose the Aeropostale life, it chose you. If you were one of those people, we can forgive it because we've all been there. But I think we're probably better off forgetting about those days than reminiscing about them.

 

movie store

 

1. Blockbuster

Can we please get an explanation for how Family Video still exists (or at least is on life support)? Netflix and Chill would've never been a thing if Blockbuster and Chill didn't pave the way for it. Blockbuster was a genuinely high octane establishment, it was like its own world in there. Action movies, dramas, comedies, rom-coms, educational videos...and yes of course adult videos for a very specific clientele. When you rented something from Blockbuster and they gave you that return deadline, it was like your parents setting a curfew. You knew damn well you had to go balls out to make the most out of every last second. Renting the new Spiderman or National Treasure movie from Blockbuster just felt natural, it felt normal, it felt meant to be. There was no stopping Blockbuster. Until the 800 pound gorilla in the room Netflix had to ruin it for everyone. Or, tbh, actually thank god they did that. But no shame on Blockbuster, it was a good run. But it was time to come to an end. Just like boring corporate America.

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